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• Ask me anything. Randomness at its finest.
Today wasn’t just any other valentine’s day. I got to spend it with Zee for the very first time! We had another date! I just love being with her especially when we’re at a place other than the bus going home. I rarely get to be with her in occasions like this and I’m thankful that she agreed to celebrate valentines day with me even though she has a lot of stuff to do for school.
We ate at The Old Spaghetti House at SM Manila. Both of us ordered pasta. Mine’s spaghetti while hers is carbonara and we both ordered mango shakes. We both wrote messages on the tissue papers that were given to us, I gave her a rose, and I gave her airheads (her favorite candy). We talked about anything and everything during our date. We had non-stop laughs, endless stories, the corniest jokes, everything!
She’s not the type of girl who likes the typical gifts like bouquets, chocolates etc. She’s just like me. All we want is to have a great time with each other and we did indeed! I really hope these types of dates will happen more often for us this year. I just really want to be with her. Period.
Thank you so much Zee! I love you! Thank you for everything today! :)
It’s been like this since last year. Our house is the only one that’s decorated in our street, there aren’t as many carolers outside, there’s not much people who constantly remind you about Christmas, etc.
The Christmas spirit is just not the same anymore. I used to always feel it as a kid. Is this part of growing up or people just don’t give a fuck anymore?
College isn’t turning out the way I wanted it to be. Before the first semester started, I kept on saying to myself that I WILL be on the Dean’s List. I want to give something to my whole family that they’ll be proud about but no, my damn brain is preventing me.
Also back then, I had such high confidence because of the awards I received when I graduated high school and I kept on thinking that I was on a roll. I had momentum… I was wrong. On my first semester, I STRUGGLED with my two math subjects, chemistry and engineering drawing. In trigonometry, I only passed two quizzes and failed my prelims and finals exams. The same thing with Algebra. In Chemistry , I only passed 1 quiz and failed my prelims and finals. In engineering drawing however, I only passed 1 out of the 13 drawing plates and failed the finals. I was pretty sure I’ll fail these four subjects and get kicked out of college but life gave me a second chance. I passed all these subjects. I don’t how and I don’t know why but I passed. How lucky could I be right? After seeing that I didn’t fail any subject, I said to myself that maybe next term I’ll be able to have a good start to my math subjects. I currently have three math subjects now.
When the classes started this semester, I kept on saying that I’ll focus and concentrate on my math subjects. I couldn’t care any less of the other subjects ‘cause they’re not prerequisites to my major subjects. For a while, I thought I was better than my first semester-self.
I was wrong… Again.
I failed my first quizzes on those three math subjects. I know I failed because I can’t answer any damn problem on the test. I started losing focus. I can’t concentrate very well. Nothing they’re teaching seems to be going inside my head. Maybe I’m even worse right now than my old self. I became stupid, slow and confused all of a sudden. Lately, I kept on thinking “Is engineering really right for me?” I’m starting to have doubts again. I’m also thinking of shifting to another course. A science course to be exact. My mathematical ability is excruciatingly slow now compared to my performance in high school. I don’t know what has gotten into me.
The second semester has just started last month and I’m already giving up. I need to reflect on what I really want to do with my life. I need some alone time. I need to clear my head of distractions. I need to focus. Focus. Focus.
So earlier today, I bought “Elmer” by Gerry Alanguilan. For those who don’t know him, he’s the guy on the “Lakas trip si manong” video where he makes creepy smiles infront of the camera. It’s one of the best comic books I’ve read in a while.
